No More Mr. Nice Guy

The greatest movie ever made is coming out next year…

• This movie will win every Oscar forever

• Awards shows will have to shut down after this movie because nothing will ever beat it.

• This movie will win a Nobel Prize for being so fucking awesome.

• After winning every award at every award show, this movie will go on to win The Superbowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, World Cup, UFC Heavyweight Championship, Indy 500, Kentucky Derby, Gold Medals at the Olympics, and even the Westminster Dog Show

• Jesus will resurrect just to see this movie

• Even Aliens will visit earth just to watch it

• This movie will be so awesome even black people won’t talk through it

• Watching this movie will regrow your hair (and possibly grow you a thick luxurious mustache)

• This movie will cure cancer

• The trailer will make women miscarry

• After watching this movie women who are pregnant will immediately induce labor, and women who aren’t pregnant will spontaneously become pregnant with the manliest babies EVER!

• If Chuck Norris watched even a single frame of this movie, his head would explode

• Movie theaters will require you to wear a helmet in order to watch this movie, so that your head is not caved in by the sheer awesomeness of it

• Small children and the elderly won’t physically or mentally be able to withstand the awesomeness of this movie…  Even the opening credits would destroy them in their seats.

• This movie will melt your face off

• Grizzly bears will come from the forests to see this movie (they won’t have to buy tickets because they can fucken eat you)

• When this movie comes out on DVD, it will replace every bible in hotel rooms around the world.

• The movie will steal your virginity

• This movie will fix the US financial crisis